Graduation Day

I've been to a lot of graduations in my life. Mine, Deb's, Tova's, Jesse's, family, friends, and ofcourse as a professor. Graduation is many things. All the typical cliches: an ending, a beginning, transition, growth, accomplishment, potential, ...

The most common question I've gotten since I started this whole process is 'Why?'. Why move? Why find a new job? Why leave your friends? I try to answer, but I never really seem to find the right words. You might as well ask a salmon why it is swimming upstream or a bee why it is making honey or a tornado why it is causing destruction. Because that's what it does. That's really the only answer.

Would you ask a high school graduate why they are leaving home to go to college? A college graduate why they are leaving to go work? A bride or groom why they are leaving to go start a family? A military enlistee why they are going to defend our country? Why? Because its time.

Would you ask them to stop? Won't you miss your friends! Don't go down that road! You don't know where it will lead! You will lose what you already have here! That misses the point entirely. I would never say to a student 'Why are you leaving MV? Don't you like us? Aren't you happy here?' It would be silly. Totally ridiculous.

And while my transition isn't as typical or as presumed, it is for just the same reasons. In many ways, I started down this path 5 years ago when Deb passed. And to a lesser extent, even farther back than that. Even if I didn't know I was on this path at the time. It's just taken me this long to get to this point. But now, the waiting is over. It is time to move on.

I've spent the past 6 years preparing my students for the next stage of their lives. Helping them grow and flourish. Encouraging them to think more broadly. To look forward and see the potential that lies in front of them. To seize the opportunity. Now its my turn.

It's graduation day.

Wait and Hurry Up

So I wait, and I wait, and I wait. So long I begin to wonder if I will ever get an answer. And then it happens, the answer is: Yes, I have a job. Hooray! What's that? Work starts in a month and a half ...

So I put the house up for sale and look over my list of apartments and start packing and put the bike on Craigslist and ... so much. So much I've done, and so much left to do. Its gonna be a crazy month for sure. Tired and stressed but dealing with it, I guess. And every so often I have enough time to actually get excited about moving. But most of the time, for now, is just spent working. Getting ready. Though I am starting to feel like I am starting to get a handle on things.

The waiting is over. Now hurry up, you don't have much time. It will be here before you know.

Act As If

Being in limbo with my job for such a long time can be frustrating. But honestly, it is the uncertainty that is the most difficult. My grill runs out of gas. Should I get it refilled? Spring comes. Should I plant the garden or leave it empty? And hundreds of other little things. Frankly, I am sick of it. I have been doing this for several months now. So I have decided upon the following: Act As If.

Act as if I have the job. Act as if I am moving in 2-3 months. Act as if I will be selling the house. So I am going to look at apartments in VA during my trip to NC and FL. I am going to fix up some stuff around the house. Trash, give away, and sell everything I don't plan to put in a moving van. Clean out my office at school. Talk to a realtor.

If I act like it's going to happen, then maybe it just might.

Hurry up and wait

Ever been in a rush to get somewhere and then end up getting there WAY early, so then you have to sit there and wait wondering why you were in such a hurry.

This is what it is like applying for a college job. Listings are posted Nov-Jan. Applications are due Dec-Feb. Interviews are Jan-Mar. You find out Feb-Apr. It's a long process. And if you don't find something, you have to wait a whole year to start over again.

So I get called for an interview Mar 9, which is already pretty late. I had already figured that I wasn't getting a call. They schedule it for Mar 30, which is a long time away but ok. I go to my interview and get a call back the next working day, Apr 2. They tell me I am a finalist (A finalist or THE finalist, they don't say) and that the process (background checks, references, transcripts, paperwork, etc.) will probably take 30 days. They have good reasons. I understand why it will take them that long but, seriously, 30 DAYS is a looooong time to wait. Fortunately, I have been so freakin' busy I have not had much chance to care.

If they are correct, I will find out May 2. MV classes end May 7. Then finals. Commencement is May 18. My annual contact ends sometime the week after that.

I would start work Aug 16. So at least I would have 3 months in between to figure things out. Little things like, oh, selling a house. (You would not believe how long it takes to close on a house in NY. It's ridiculous.) And finding an apartment, in another state, that takes dogs. So I am rushing around like a crazed person, trying to get ready for something that may not happen.

Hurry up and wait.

Time for a Change

You may know from discussions we've had in the past, or from my semi-cryptic facebook status updates, but for the past few months I have been searching for a new job. That search has progressed to the point that certain people must be told, so now I suppose can speak a little more freely about it publicly.

'Why' might be your first question.  I could go through a list of a whole bunch of little factors that contributed to the decision. But I think that would miss the main point. So let me try and focus on that instead.

Since I came to Utica, almost 6 years ago now, my life has changed in more ways than I can count. What I need and what I want are totally different today than they were then. It's not so much that Utica has changed or that MV has changed. It is more that I have changed. The past few years have been spent digging myself out of a hole, getting to a better place in my life. But in the process, this place is no longer a good fit for me.

So much like my students, it is time to graduate and move on to the next stage of my life.